THE FUNERAL CHICKEN: An Excerpt

“Are you okay?” she asked.

Rebel shook her head.

“You think some cake would help?”

Rebel, holding her face in her hands, said through her palms, “What flavor?”

Evie smirked. She even chuckled as she said, “Lemon. You think some lemon cake would help?”

Rebel nodded, her dark curls bouncing around her head. 

“Alright, come on, I’ve got some in the kitchen.”

Evie led Rebel to the kitchen. Without decorations, the kitchen had always been a dark, ominous room. With decorations, it had the appeal of a monster with a smiley mask on. Still yet, Rebel sat at the bar and ate cake with Evie.

“I’ll just throw a little frosting on the edge we ate off and none will be the wiser.” She smiled at Rebel, pushing back a curl from the girl’s face. “They’re all gonna want to sing Happy Birthday to you.”

Rebel smirked and shook her head, a glob of frosting on the corner of her mouth.

“They’re all so glad you’re here.”

Rebel took a sip of milk. “Why’s that?”

“You bring youth into this home, something it hasn’t seen in a long time.”

The statement was said with a gentle smile, but gooseflesh broke out on Rebel’s arms. The air seemed to grow dense and thick around her, like some giant mouth got closer, breathing its hot breath on her neck. It seemed to whisper

Youth.

She could envision a big tongue licking the back of her neck, leaving behind a massive trail of saliva. The house wanted to taste her; take her for her

Youth.

She shivered despite the heater kicking through the floor vents. 

Twenty-seven with no kids, no job, no spouse, but plenty of

Youth.

The frosting in her mouth turned gritty and sour like sand; the cake became sink-water flavored mush. She set her fork down, parting her lips to speak, when Helena scuttled in.

“I think it’s about time we open presents,” she said, and without waiting for a response, she was out the door.

They looked like two children caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Evie swooped up the dishes and threw them into the dishwasher, then grabbed Rebel’s hand.

“We have a big surprise for you.” She was smiling ear to ear, and Rebel couldn’t imagine what her aunt had planned. She just hoped it didn’t involve an old man, a boombox, and tearaway pants. 

Rebel’d never seen a pile of presents so large. 

“Everyone pitched in, Rebel,” Evie said, sitting her in a chair next to the pile and putting a party hat on her head. 

Rebel sat, like the biggest five year old you’d ever seen, with her hands in her lap, staring up at the old folks around her. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought of her parents. Her parents who were missing yet another one of her birthdays.

“Oh, Rebel was just a monster when she was born,” Evie said, taking a picture of her with a digital camera. Everyone laughed, except Rebel.

Rebel hadn’t the slightest clue how or where, or even why, she was born. Her mother never spoke of things like that.

Evie continued without prompting. “I had my sister over for brunch. The forecast said it was going to be sunny and mild, just the perfect weather to eat out on the back patio, but as if the world knew Rebel was going to be born, a nasty, wet storm moved in.”

Rebel sat forward in her seat, listening.

“Big, fat, dark clouds rolled in, spitting thunder and lightning on us.” She looked at Rebel with a smirk. “Your mother hated thunder. The woman could jump out of a plane, hunger strike for a week straight, throw a Molotov cocktail through a window, but God forbid there be any thunder.” More chuckling from the crowd. “So I started a fire in the sitting room’s hearth, opened up the curtains on the big window so we could watch the storm, and laid out a blanket. In a sweatshirt, you wouldn’t even know your mother was pregnant, and it made sense. You were absolutely tiny.”

Rebel smiled, able to finally envision the day she was born. 

“My sister ate everything I set out. Toast, eggs, bacon, steak, fruit, yogurt. She was lying on her back when she got this shooting pain. I told her if she was gonna fart, that it was going to be a big one and she better take that bomb outside, but she said, ‘No, it’s Rebel.’”

Everyone looked at Rebel, most of them with the look of soft remembrance on their faces as they thought of their own children and their births.

“I hadn’t even known the girl had a name yet. ‘Rebel?’ I asked, and on my favorite sitting blanket, well, her water broke. Rebel’s father was out of state and we were home alone.” She glanced at Rebel, tears now glistening in her eyes. “So I delivered little Rebel, and my sister and I held her and each other and cried. She was the most darling thing in the world, and the loudest. She screamed and hollered all night, just like the sky.” Evie put her hands out toward Rebel, drawing everyone’s attention to her, and announced, “Rebel Fry: the only Fry of this new generation.”

Everyone clapped, teary eyed. 

Rebel wanted to curl up into a ball and cry. While her birth should’ve been what was on her mind, her parent’s death took precedence. She was handed gift after gift but one scene played out in her mind...

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Well, I guess if you want to read the rest of THE FUNERAL CHICKEN, you'll have to sign up to my newsletter here and wait for it to come out! OR you can sign up to my Patreon, either THE VAULT or THE MUSEUM tiers, and read what I've got so far early!

I'm thinking it'll be out August 31st - September 15th, 2026, but please be patient with me! I'm one person writing, designing, formatting, publishing, researching, and marketing my books (sobs). I cannot wait to show y'all the completed cover! It's not even close to being done but the vision I have is perfect for the story. 

Before you go, here are a few quick fun facts about THE FUNERAL CHICKEN:

• It is set in Oroville, California
• Rebel Fry is my expression of all the abuse I've gone through in the last few years and all the ways in which I feel trapped within an anxious mind
• TFC is my first supernatural book! I've written short ghost stories, but never a whole book
  

I hope you'll sign up to my newsletter as we await the arrival of THE FUNERAL CHICKEN, and I also hope you'll check out my Patreon where you can read all of my eBooks as well as what I've got so far for THE FUNERAL CHICKEN as well as my vampire novel THE VAULT. Sign up to THE VAULT tier now to get access to all of my books!